Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Randomize
