haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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