I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
