He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I think your dad took our porno
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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