my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
