just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
