i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
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Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
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we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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