You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I have aggressive nipples.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
