I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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