Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
