Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
