i already hear my dad disowning me
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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