Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
