My sheets look like a crime scene.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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