3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
