I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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