She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
