I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
