My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
