Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Its about making memories worth repressing
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
