Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
