ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
