that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
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The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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