please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
