you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
