I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
