just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
