Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
So vagazzling was a success
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
