I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
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After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
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I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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