My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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