I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
