Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
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We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
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Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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