Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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