well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
