tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
