covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize