There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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