Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Two words: blizzard sex
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize