hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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