He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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