I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
