She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize