i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
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I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
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Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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