scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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