I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
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