i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
