"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?