Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.