Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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