he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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