I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
