the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
