your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
