I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It was confusing and full of hummus
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
