what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
