help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
