i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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