I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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