I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
