Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
