i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize