Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
