I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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