You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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