My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Randomize
