she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
